Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that bad… but I did have my first bad experience when it comes to wedding planning this weekend. For ages now, I’ve been watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. I see how so many brides struggle with finding a dress. This is often a result of them trying to please everyone but themselves. There have been countless times when a bride stands facing the mirror in the dressing room and cries because she thinks she has found her perfect gown. Once she walks out into the parlor and her family hates it… she is crushed. Of course, I’m one of those judgey people that sits in front of the tv and acts like I know all of the answers. Like I know how it feels. Like I would handle the situation so much better.
“I wouldn’t act like that. It’s MY wedding, and I would pick the dress that I loved. I wouldn’t care if anyone else liked it.”
I guess there has been enough foreshadowing for you to know what happened next, right?
Saturday night I opened about 15 different tabs on my laptop, and asked Kevin for his opinion. The trick here (and TRUST ME the joke was on me) was that I mixed into that 15 a dress that I’ve been stalking for quite sometime. Way longer than we’ve been engaged… I mean if this dress had a facebook page I’d be creepin’ big time! I opened each tab long enough for him to see the dress on the page, let him comment, and then went to the next. Each one got a decent rating: That’s pretty. I like that one. That’s nice. Uh huh.
Until the last dress. I held my breath, and clicked the tab as cool as a cucumber. I didn’t want to absolutely squeal when the image popped up…
“Oooh, that one is okay, I guess…”
In that very moment I got it… I understand why the bride is so upset. That white gown in the mirror almost represents the epitome of a wedding for many brides. So many of them cry because seeing yourself in that dress is when you realize you’re really getting married. To see that dress, have that epiphany, to be flooded with those feelings, and then have the people you rely on say that the dress that you so believe was cut from a pattern made in light of you… isn’t for you. Ouch.
Okay, so I haven’t tried the dress on. Heck, I haven’t tried ANY dresses on! I sure had looked at it a lot. I mean… a lot. I know that everyone out there would try and feed me some gobbly-gook about how it won’t matter what I wear: It is the point of the day, If I feel beautiful I will look beautiful, I will be beautiful to him no matter what, yada yada… Well, I know all of that stuff… because it is the exact advice I’ve been giving to the girls on the other side of the tv when they’re having their breakdowns in Kleinfelds. The thing is: my advice stinks.
Yes, if I ever see the dress in person (and I know every store in a 100 mile radius that carries it…) I will try it on. The thing is: When I’m facing that mirror looking at myself in that dress will I see the epiphany and be flooded with happiness. OR Flooded with fear that when I’m looking at him at the end of the aisle he will be thinking “Good Lord, that dress is ugly.”
What the heck do you know about dresses anyway, Kevin? Nothing. That’s what! Seriously, he said that a dress with a lace overlay was “a nice print.” Okay, I feel better.
Just kidding! I sulked for a while, and decided that I wasn’t going to let it get me down. I mean, I tend to be my own worst critic… so if I find a dress that I truly love on myself then I think I will be just fine. It isn’t his fault that he doesn’t care much for the dress. He was honest with me, and I appreciate that. Imagine how upset I had been had he lied about it! Either way, he redeemed himself today by being absolutely hilarious. (Plus, I’m now getting him back for it all by telling you guys the story!)
This morning I was doing my best to keep his attention long enough to ask him some of the questions that I established in my last Bridal Motivation post. Is the date more important than the Wedding Pavilion? Can we set a real budget? Is there a date that is best to meet with a wedding planner? Have you thought about songs?
We weren’t in the same room. I was in my closet room watching the news and drinking coffee. He was in his office (they’re literally connected). I could hear him playing guitar (which meant he was just appeasing me with yeses and nos), but I was trying to hold a conversation anyway… yes, I’m one of those people. Dontcha just hate em?
He walks into the room with his pajamas and a robe on a-la Hugh Heffner… (we had argued about the thermostat earlier… and I won, so apparently he was freezing like he so often says he is) He was holding the guitar and said, “I know the perfect song. It’s this, or I play Nirvana.” He proceeded to sing “I Wanna Grow Old With You” as sung by Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer.
I don’t own the rights to post that video, but you can see it on YouTube.
In case you haven’t seen the movie, here are the lyrics:
I wanna make you smile,
Whenever you’re sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you.
I’ll get you medicine,
When your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice,
Growin’ old with you.
I’ll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you.
Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man,
Who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.